bookrandom Chapter 124 Self-doubt
Chapter 124 Self-doubt
Gao Xingchen and Nan Li walked back to their residence side by side. The moonlight stretched their shadows to be particularly slender, as if they were walking side by side in the infinite loneliness. After returning to the room, Gao Xingchen was not sleepy at all. He washed up hastily and lay down on the bed, but his thoughts were like a wild horse running wildly in his mind.
The contemptuous tone and sarcastic words of Fairy Zhou and Pharmacist Zhao were like a brand that was deeply engraved in his mind and could not be erased. "Peace? It's just a foolish dream!", "Just you? You want to change the Nine Star Realm?", these words were like sharp blades, constantly piercing his heart.
Gao Xingchen tossed and turned, but could not fall asleep peacefully. He felt an unprecedented confusion and powerlessness. Was he really wrong? Was peace really just an unattainable dream? The belief he had always held seemed to begin to waver at this moment.
"Squeak..."
Xiao Hei, who had always been with Gao Xingchen, seemed to have noticed something was wrong with his master. He jumped up from under the bed, rubbed Gao Xingchen's arm with his furry head, and cried out in worry. Xiao Hei's wet nose and warm body temperature brought Gao Xingchen back to his senses from his heavy thoughts. He gently stroked Xiao Hei's soft fur, smiled bitterly, and shook his head.
"Xiao Hei, maybe they are right, I am really too naive..." Gao Xingchen's voice was low and hoarse, and his tone was full of bitterness and confusion. He looked at the deep night sky outside the window with empty eyes, as if he had lost all hope and direction.
Gao Xingchen stroked Xiao Hei's head, again and again, mechanically and repeatedly, as if he was soothing the anxiety that kept surging in his heart. The moonlight shone through the window lattice, casting mottled shadows on his face, making his expression even more gloomy. "Xiao Hei, maybe they are right, I am really too naive..." His voice was low and hoarse, like the groan of a thirsty traveler in the desert, full of bitterness and confusion.
Xiao Hei seemed to understand what he said, and rubbed against him anxiously, making a low "woooo" sound, as if to comfort him, or to cheer him up. Gao Xingchen forced a smile and hugged it tighter, as if to draw a little strength from it.
"Xingchen, don't be affected by their words. We all believe in you." A gentle voice sounded at the door, with a hint of imperceptible worry.
Gao Xingchen looked up suddenly and saw Nan Li standing at the door. The moonlight outlined her slender figure, like a god descending at night. She was not wearing her usual neat outfit, but a plain and elegant light blue dress. Her long black hair was casually draped over her shoulders, less fierce than usual and more gentle.
Nan Li walked over to Gao Xingchen, sat down beside him, and looked at him gently but firmly. "I know you feel bad, but you have to believe in yourself and believe in us. Although the road to peace is difficult, we will always be by your side and walk it together."
Gao Xingchen looked into Nan Li's eyes. Those eyes, which were usually cold, were now filled with warmth and encouragement, like a clear spring, slowly flowing into his dry heart. A warm current surged in his heart, and an inexplicable power rose from the depths of his heart, dispelling the haze that shrouded his heart.
But he still couldn't completely eliminate the doubts in his heart. The words of Fairy Zhou and Pharmacist Zhao were like two sharp thorns, deeply piercing his heart, forcing him to face up to his own insignificance and incompetence. He was just a grassroots boy from a remote planet. Could he really change this chaotic Nine Star Realm? Could he really realize the dream of peace in his heart?
Gao Xingchen lowered his head, his eyes becoming confused again...
Gao Xingchen raised his head and looked into Nan Li's eyes. His eyes, which were usually cold and clear, were now filled with worry and encouragement, like two clear springs, trying to wash away all the uneasiness and doubt in his heart. A warm current surged in his heart, and an inexplicable power rose from the depths of his heart, trying to dispel the haze that enveloped his heart.
But he opened his mouth and found that he couldn't say anything. The words of Fairy Zhou and Pharmacist Zhao were like two mountains, weighing heavily on his heart, making him breathless. He was just an unknown person from a remote planet. Could he really change this chaotic Nine Star Realm? Could he really realize the dream of peace in his heart?
"I know what you're worried about." Nan Li's voice was gentle but firm, as if she could see through his thoughts. "Are you doubting whether you really have the ability to realize that grand dream? Are you afraid that you will fail in the end and disappoint everyone's expectations?"
Gao Xingchen didn't say anything, but just looked at her quietly, his eyes complicated and difficult to read.
Nan Li stood up, walked to the bookshelf, and pulled out an old book. The book looked quite old, and the cover was a little damaged. On it were written a few words in ancient characters - "Song of Peace".
"This book was left to me by my master." Nan Li handed the book to Gao Xingchen with a deep and distant gaze. "He said that when you are confused and helpless, open this book and it will give you the answer."
Gao Xingchen took the book, gently stroked the slightly rough cover with his fingers, his heart full of doubts.
"This book records many stories about peace and love." Nan Li's voice was soft and slow, as if she was telling an ancient legend. "There are ordinary people who silently contribute, and heroes who sacrifice their lives for justice; there is forgiveness that resolves hatred, and there is struggle to uphold justice..."
"I hope you can find the answers from these stories and find your own path." Nan Li's eyes were full of expectation. "Xingchen, you must believe that the seeds of peace will eventually take root and sprout in your heart."
Gao Xingchen took the ancient book and began to read it carefully. His mood gradually calmed down, but he still didn't know how to face the doubts of the outside world and how to realize the seemingly unattainable dream of peace...
Gao Xingchen held the "Song of Peace" in his hands and returned to his room under Nan Li's expectant gaze. When Xiao Hei saw him coming back, he excitedly rushed over and rubbed his furry head against his legs, as if to comfort him. Gao Xingchen gently stroked Xiao Hei's back, feeling mixed emotions.
The room was very quiet, with only the sound of pages turning. Gao Xingchen flipped through the old book page by page, as if he was reading a piece of dusty history. Vivid characters came to life on the page. In their respective times, they made different choices for the peace they believed in. Some died heroically, while others remained unknown. However, they all used their own ways to protect the light in their hearts.
Gao Xingchen was deeply attracted by the stories in the book. He seemed to see those people fighting for peace, hear their heartfelt cries, and feel their persistence and determination. His originally confused heart was gradually touched by an invisible force, which was a desire for peace, a pursuit of justice, and a reverence for life.
Time passed by, the sky outside the window gradually darkened, and Gao Xingchen finally turned to the last page. He closed the book and took a long breath. The haze in his heart seemed to have dissipated a lot, but a new confusion came to his mind.
The stories about peace in the book are touching, but they all happened in the distant past. The Nine Star Realm where he is now is a world full of disputes and killings, where the strong prey on the weak and the strong are respected. Peace is just an unattainable dream here.
Can he really change all this? Can he really become a peace messenger like those people in the book?
Gao Xingchen fell into deep thought. He looked at the gradually darkening sky outside the window, his heart filled with confusion and uncertainty. Xiao Hei seemed to sense his emotions, and walked gently to his side, nudging his hand with his wet nose, as if to cheer him up.
Gao Xingchen looked down at Xiao Hei, his eyes gradually becoming firmer. He knew that he couldn't give up now, he still had a lot of things to do, and he still had to realize the seemingly unattainable dream of peace.
He stood up, walked to the window, looked at the brightly lit city in the distance, and secretly made up his mind that he must find a path of his own to realize his dream of peace.
At this moment, he remembered that Nan Li once said that the author of this book was a highly respected Elder Li. Perhaps, he could go to Elder Li for advice and perhaps get some inspiration from him...