bookrandom Chapter 945, Yu, what do you want me to do?
Chapter 945, Yu, what do you want me to do?
After Feng Tao left, the apartment fell silent instantly, with only Gu Ze's heavy breathing remaining. He slumped onto the sofa, his eyes fixed on the pile of broken cell phones on the floor, his heart aching as if something was blocking it.
Cheng Yu's voice still echoed in his ears, carrying a hint of barely perceptible weariness, a tone clearly relaxed after a period of tenderness. And that name—"Jinjiang Bay"—that was the Song family's territory, Mu Xiaoji's domain. The thought that Jiang Chengyu might be under the same roof as Mu Xiaoji at this moment made Gu Ze's heart feel like it was being clenched by an invisible hand, the pain almost suffocating him.
He recalled the first time he met Jiang Chengyu at the hospital. Jiang Chengyu, in his white coat, was cool and focused, holding a medical record folder, patiently listening to his incoherent ramblings. At that time, Jiang Chengyu was the only light in his dark world, the pillar that helped him through those difficult days. He thought that as long as he tried a little harder, got a little closer, he could eventually enter Jiang Chengyu's heart.
But everything changed as soon as Mu Xiaoji returned.
Gu Ze abruptly stood up from the sofa, staggered to the window, and pulled back the curtains. The sunlight outside was dazzling; he squinted, looking at the bustling traffic below, feeling like a joke. The person he had tried so hard to hold onto had never held a place for him in their heart.
"Why..." he murmured, his voice trembling with tears, "Why can Mu Xiaoji just come back whenever he wants, and have me whenever he wants..."
He turned and rushed into the bedroom, rummaging through drawers and cabinets until he found an old box containing everything he had secretly collected about Jiang Chengyu—a note he had accidentally left in the clinic, with his flamboyant signature on it; a photo taken from afar at the company's annual meeting, showing Jiang Chengyu standing on the stage, full of vigor; and a medical book he had read, with his markings on the title page…
Gu Ze dumped all the items onto the ground, his eyes frantically scanning each piece, as if trying to find even the slightest trace of Jiang Chengyu's concern for him. But there was nothing, absolutely nothing. These things were nothing but wishful thinking on his part.
“It’s all fake…” He crouched on the ground, clutching his head in his hands, his shoulders trembling violently. “He never cared about me…”
After an unknown amount of time, Feng Tao heard the sound of a key turning in the lock outside the door. He pushed the door open and saw the bedroom in a mess, with Gu Ze squatting on the floor looking utterly dejected. His heart sank.
"Gu Ze..." He walked over quietly, "What's wrong? Have you had another episode?"
Gu Ze raised his head, his eyes were frighteningly red, and there were still tear stains on his face: "Feng Tao, am I really useless? Will I never be as good as Mu Xiaoji?"
Feng Tao sighed, squatted down beside him, picked up the photo from the ground, and gently placed it in his hand: "Gu Ze, everyone has their own place. Jiang Chengyu has his life, and you have yours. You are a rising actor now, with so many people who like you, why hold onto someone who doesn't belong to you?"
Looking at Jiang Chengyu's smiling face in the photo, Gu Ze couldn't help but shed tears again: "But I like him... I've liked him for so long..."
“Liking something doesn’t mean you have to possess it.” Feng Tao patted him on the back. “You have to learn to let go, let him go, and let yourself go. Look, this is the script Director Liang gave you, the male lead, what a great opportunity. You’re a superstar now, attracting millions of fans, and you’ll meet many more and better people.”
Gu Ze didn't speak, but just gripped the photo tightly, his knuckles turning white from the force. Sunlight streamed through the window into the bedroom, falling on the scattered objects on the floor, and also on his pale but stubborn face.
Letting go sounds so easy, but doing it is more painful than tearing your heart out.